I was looking for something new and different to do with a roast today.  I have been pretty successful lately with searching for new recipes on the internet (who knew you could make killer BBQ pulled pork in a crockpot?!?), so I set out for something interesting.  I repeatedly came across the same crockpot recipe involving cream of mushroom soup and onion soup mix.  I am a fan of several recipes that use cream of something as part of the sauce, so I figured I would give it a shot.  Several people recommended using either beef broth or red wine instead of water to dilute the condensed soup.  I didn't have any beef broth, but I did have red wine.  Since I am quite fond of red wine, I went ahead with this variation.  A midday taste test revealed that CREAM OF MUSHROOM SOUP AND RED WINE ARE AS GROSS TOGETHER AS THEY SOUND!!!  Seriously, what was I thinking?  I have gotten pretty good over the last few years at imagining the flavor of a recipe by reading the ingredients.  I just couldn't picture how those things would work, but I thought just cream of mushroom was a lame excuse for dinner.  I trusted strangers who swore that it was the best thing they had ever tasted.  I am normally not that gullible.  I stood in the kitchen kicking myself as I stared at the grayish purple gravy covering my simmering hunk of beef.  It looked as though the Peculiar Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak had barfed in my crockpot.  I was so appalled that I actually had to make chocolate chip cookie bars to reset my palate and keep me from heaving myself!
    But what to do with the two pound roast I had half-cooked?  Could I really stomach that much waste?  I didn't think so.  I took a deep breath and dumped the contents of the pot into a colander in my sink.  After straining off the pureed brain matter sauce, I gave the beef a good rinse and started over the good old fashioned way:  roast, carrots, potatoes, fresh mushrooms, a little seasoning, and some water.  At least there's a chance to salvage it.  Heck, if it's no good anyway, at least I tried not to waste it, right?
    Today was proof that pride cometh before a fall and such.  I am a really decent cook.  A large amount of my endeavors are downright tasty, some even veering off into delicious territory.  But I got cocky, and this was the horrendous result.  Learn from my mistake, folks:  trust your instincts.  Don't start to think you're bulletproof in the kitchen.  You just might get taken out by a cream of cabernet sniper hiding in your crockpot.

CL


Status Update:  Dinner made a miraculous recovery.